leader of my generation

hey guys

its been awhile since i last posted right?

okay.

so how's my life so far?

i would say everything on the outside looks like its getting better

but in the inside it really feels like stagnant.

I don't really know why.

Or maybe i do but i am just too lazy to do anything about it.

Seems like my world has split into two.

the outside world and the inside world

well its like the outside world is what people see me as and yea

even on the outside I feels as though its split again

like i behave differently from different groups of friends.

And the inside world is like what i do when alone.

So yea it really hit me that God cant really use me cause I seems

to be refusing to grow with Him on the inside so yea

what's the point of going down for alter calls cause i fell that

i am like not even prepared to lay down my life.

its like i can't

i have too may things to lay down.

some are just seemingly impossible to lay it down

know what i really feel like i am being left behind cause i can't move on ahead.

my heart wants to move on but it just seems like every time i tried i cant

now it just seems like this level of difficulty is just IMPOSSIBLE to go pass.

i am really confuse i really long to have my life back

i cant take it anymore.

i really cant

my heart is crying.

its pierced.

its bleeding.

it really hurts.

now i really confused

i have lost tracked and lost sight.

i can't see what's installed.

i WANT to MEET You once more.

if thats not too much to ask.

cause i really don't know why i wake up so early on sundays and go to church.

and to free up my saturdays to go to cell.

it seems as if when i called out to You, there's no reply

and when i need You, i cant find You.

what is it that i lack to see You?

Why is it that i don't know if You are there?

I want to hear You

I want to see You

I want to feel Your love

cause here's a broken and heart for You to heal Jesus.

I really want YOu

Boiboi thinks of Jesus @6:13:00 PM

~~~

~~~ Thursday, November 26, 2009 ~~~

ok a quick post=D
hi=D
ok bye-.-

Boiboi thinks of Jesus @12:00:00 AM

~~~

~~~ Thursday, October 15, 2009 ~~~

hihihi=D
ok
lets see
sleeping by 11 seems fun
cause i have no problem waking up by 9=D
hehe
well
seen the timetable its very packed lor
like practically no time for everything
maybe
but i will find time or just squeeze time out=D
ok
well
got sociology as my cds
dont know if its a good thing lar
D=

well do my best in everything=D
ok
humm
the APEC positions are out=D
and yea
not very happy lar
humm
i wan ABEC and APEC lah
but only kanna APEC
lol
well
want to be L.O.
but seems like wasnt chosen for it
end up doing what i do best =D
or i think
USHERING=D
hahaha
a great big smile=D
hehe
but sad thing is i think i will miss cell
wha miss cell like nobody's problem
lols
sorry really cannot
on the 14 nov and 24 oct
sian
sometimes is i really want more MORE
but maybe i should just stick to it lar
or i can like just sent email in saying that i also want to do ABEC
humm
dont think its possible
since they still need to have the access cards
man this stinks
i wan i wan i really wan
well too bad...
D=
ok
lasst
thank God that my flying stops already
cause its really gonna crash with all other stuff...
hehe
THANKS ALOT GOD=D

Boiboi thinks of Jesus @9:15:00 PM

~~~

~~~ Monday, October 12, 2009 ~~~

i want to fly
to fly out of every thing
to get to freedom
i dont want to get held down...

Boiboi thinks of Jesus @9:38:00 PM

~~~

~~~ Friday, October 9, 2009 ~~~

hey all
kinda feeling down now
shit i am like having a feeling of lost and depress again
feel like scream out but somehow my voice cant be heard..
only thing that other people around hear is a joyful voice
but deep inside its just the opposite
i want to cry but there are no tears
i want to scream but no voice came out

know what i freaking want to escape from this world
to a place where no can find me where no one can reject me
so whats the whole point of trying your best where in the end
ITS STILL THE SAME FREAKING OUTCOME!!!!!!!!
whats the point of going though so many endless classes and yet still couldn't make it
why did i even spent so much time...
why did i make so many sacrifices where could not get what i want...
i am really confuse lar
i am freaking fustrated i want to vent it out but cant
i dont want to bottle it up any longer already!!!!
ergggggg!!!!!

Boiboi thinks of Jesus @7:56:00 PM

~~~

Hi all=D...

haha

ok went sakae with sl today haha went for the buffet =D

whicj=h is from 3 to 6 one

haha

BUT we got there like 5-.-

haha so 30mins to order

haha

was very fun lar

haha

was given a very small table and

yea all the food we ordered came at a single time

so not enough place to put-.-

haha

but then we still manage=D

haha the food one=D

lol 'alot' hor

haha

actually is we cleared most liao-.-

12 plates had been cleared

haha

not to mention that they gave use very little platesT.T

they cheated

suppose give two plates one they gave one-.-

they just serve 4 sushi in one plate-.-

haha

well

that photo was kinda like our last order before we couldn't finish-.-

haha

well

was a big big mistake to order the salmon nabanzuke

haha ok

dont order that will regret-.-

haha

even though i smell nice

but i tasted like ____!!!

its salmon but its as tough as overcooked chicken-.-

haha

so dont order that =D

trust me

so we had fun

trying to finish everything we ate

haha

was hard lar

not easy ok

then the end was like this lor

nice ending hor=D

haha

but wasn't that nice to our stomach

haha

felt like vomitting lar-.-

man shouldn't have ordered that much haha

but ws real fun =D

all kinds of retarded jokes=D

sushi flying=D

opps it landed on the floor-.-

by accident-.-

haha

spills also by accidents-.-

haha

well overall was fun

mel wish you was there lar=(

then fun would be X3=D

haha

well thats all=D

then went bbq

with a full stomach=D

ate 2 sticks of satays

and 3 cups of drinks

haha

and fun watching ppl get thrown into the pool and finding a crab in the gents-.-

haha

then rush home fill up an email cause of the APEC thing

haha

then blog update=D

haha

now is 2.16am

i am going sleep haha

cause tmr got flight=D

nights~~~

Boiboi thinks of Jesus @1:47:00 AM

~~~

~~~ Monday, October 5, 2009 ~~~

wha!!!!!
many things happening tmr wor
first thing first
tomorrow gonna go for flight haha
first flight
then i think reach home around 12 + bahh
then can rest and prepare for wakeboarding at 5pm haha at bedok =D
haha
after that around 7 go meet xm for dinner at tamp haha
busy day wor
i think also tiring larD=
lol
dint know i got myself sosososo packed up-.-
haha
thursday going for another bbq-.-
in sentosa
wha dont feel like staying over
how
leave early??
or i should just stay
the most probably is friday got wakeboard again at ponggol(sp)=D
haha
not forgeting there are still slots for flight during the week lar
haha
well then sat cell=D
haha
ok..
think thats all
wonder where's skating part
haha
well i think i might just try to find a slot for it haha
finally last but not least
everyday i must find time if cannot find then i Will make my own time=D
just for YOU=D
haha promise=D

Boiboi thinks of Jesus @11:44:00 PM

~~~